You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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