I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
