I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
