Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
