You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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