So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
