She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Panties = found
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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