That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
