So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
