I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
