I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
