just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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