You really coming over, don't trick.
we made out on top of his cat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
