Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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