"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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