i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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