Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i barfeds in our rink
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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