So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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