these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
