I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
