you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
