just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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