Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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