I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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