yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
