So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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