Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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