What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize