Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
