can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize