im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
