my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
