names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
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But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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