so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize