Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
not ubering you a puppy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
