Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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