Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Mom said you looked used
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
