I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Still dying that you shit outside
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
