Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize