wakey wakey hands off snakey
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize