HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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