So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
