I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think i have herpe
just one?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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