i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
