I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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