i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
