i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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