I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize