do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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