Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
