its not stalking. its research.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
