she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
