I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
