turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
