I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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