So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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