you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
